By Mel Luymes

        Well, we got through the long lockdown, but this year was still full of ups and downs, so when I heard that the Ontario Federation of Agriculture took the Farmer Wellness Initiative across the province to offer free counselling to farmers and their families, my friend and I challenged each other to call the number. 
    Before I forget to tell you, the number is 1-866-267-6255.
    Anyway, we both called the number, not knowing what to expect.  It goes to an automatic system, and I pressed 1 for English and then, because it was not an emergency, I pressed 2.  Someone in a call centre answered and I asked to book an appointment with a counsellor. The calls go to LifeWorks, which is an employee-assistance program also offered in benefits packages for those people that have “normal” jobs. I asked to speak to someone that had agricultural experience and my appointment was set. A counselor would call me at 4 p.m. that Friday. 
    So, booking the call was simple, but I hesitate to tell you the rest because it turned out to be a difficult experience for me. However, I think it all has a valuable point at the end, so I want to share in case it helps even one of you that is reading this. And the point that I’ll get to is that we need to advocate for ourselves and our well-being. 
    Friday’s call turned out to be awkward and difficult. The long story short is that I struggle with how different my beliefs are from my family and my community; I left the church in my early 20s and traveled the world, so it isn’t always easy being back here where I started from. That Friday was especially tough with a big issue in our community weighing on my heart, and my counsellor from Lifeworks turned out to be a Christian pastor. He trivialized my experience and then advised me to simply move away from the area.
    I was upset, but I also got fired up because I was determined to find some peace. I started to search the internet for tips on recovering from religion and I ended up finding a whole community online and several books about it. It is recognized in psychology as Religious Trauma Syndrome, so now I have a whole new internet rabbit hole to go down this winter!
    And it’s not that I just don’t like therapy. I usually love it! Years ago, I attended a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) class offered for free from the local health unit. It was a six-week course offered in a group setting and it was incredibly helpful. I followed up with some one-on-one sessions and continued to use the CBT method to examine and correct my unhealthy thought patterns. Well, for a while at least. 
    Anyways, back to my story. A few weeks went by and then I said something about the session with that pastor to the OFA staff person leading the Farmer Wellness Initiative. She escalated my complaint to the Canadian Mental Health Association that had partnered with the OFA to create the service, and they responded directly to me to apologize and assured me they were working to improve the service and training of their counsellors. 
    In the meantime, I called the number again and again, and I ended up speaking with two other counselors that were also bad fits for me. This time, when I sensed that they were not going to be helpful, I ended the calls early. 
    All this would be a really disheartening story, except that the experience with LifeWorks got me determined to get help and resources for myself. And I found something!
    A friend of mine recommended a counsellor from Ottawa and I connected with her. It isn’t free and it isn’t even “talk” therapy; it is more like a meditative visualization, and it is worth every penny. Only two sessions in and already it has shifted my outlook on things.
    I’m so glad that my friend and I challenged each other to make that phone call because it started a whole journey for me. I learned to trust my spidey-sense, enforce boundaries and to advocate for my wellness. 
    I would still encourage everyone to call the number – again, it is 1-866-267-6255 – and see if it helps in some way. If it doesn’t, release your inner Karen (I love her!) and complain to the manager, then try something else. Try CBT and if you don’t love it, try something else. 
    Don’t quit until your head is clear and you can fully enjoy your life. We are all stuck inside our minds for our whole lo-o-o-ng lives, and it doesn’t have to be a terrible place up there.         
    Please, advocate for your mental health and your peace of mind, and let’s also keep advocating for the wellness of our neighbours, friends and all the farmers out there! ◊